I Guess I'll Write About Movies Now

I'm going to keep this short, and not because spoilers would ruin Strange Darling , though watching the plot unfold in its own time is a moviegoing joy on par with the original Psycho  or Vertigo . Rather, I'll be tending toward brevity because if I don't, I'll just be writing about this movie all night. Strange Darling , written and directed by JT Mollner, is a beautiful throwback to the hyper-verbal and hyper-violent Gen X indie flicks of the mid to late 90s. Strange Darling  gives us quirky characters in moody lighting who expound at length on their personal philosophies, then engage in some freaky bedroom behavior and take some synthetic drugs. And it all transpires before a bunch of people get super killed, and we're left wondering if nihilism is a good worldview or the greatest worldview. Plus, there's a sprinkling of pop culture references (starting with the Texas Chainsaw Massacre -style intro text and voice-over) and way more cigarettes than I've se...

Whenever I see videos of entomologists allowing ticks or leeches or some other bloodsucker to feed off them, my second reaction is one of respect. There's something powerful about being so committed to understanding another species that you let them pierce your skin and steal your goddamned blood just so you can get to know them better. That's impressive, you weirdos. But it's also horrific, and when you replace your skin with the skin of an unwitting participant in your study, well, it gets to be downright terrifying. That's not exactly what Cuckoo  is about, but it's as close to the truth as I'm able to get without spoiling the whole thing. What I can tell you is that Cuckoo  takes place in the present day, entirely at an alpine resort/forest preserve in Germany, and that it is delightfully unhinged. Hunter Schafer stars as Gretchen, a 17ish year-old from the US who recently lost her mother and is now forced to live with her father, stepmother, and step-sister...

In May of 1994, I was 15 years old, so it was a HUGE moment for me when I walked up to the box office at Robinson Crossing AMC in Norman, Oklahoma, and purchased a ticket to see The Crow . You see, The Crow  was rated R, and deservedly so, which meant I could not see it without a parent or guardian. Still, I was able to purchase a ticket from the 16 year-old working the cash register, and no one stopped me as I strolled in, took my seat, and had my mind absolutely blown by the world Alex Proyas built and all the impossible things Brandon Lee did within it. I truly wish someone had stopped me before I walked in to see the recent remake, from director Rupert Sanders and star Bill Skarsgård. I really wanted to like this movie, and I  tried my damndest to judge it on its own merit, and not against the 1994 version. I really, really did. But this The Crow thoroughly thwarted me at practically every step. This movie shouldn't have happened.  The Crow  (2024) is borin...

Film Noir is largely a byproduct of fear and paranoia. It was a way for art to express society's concerns about the modern, post-war world and all the changes that came with it. Commies were everywhere, and so were people informing on them. Bombs were bigger and scarier than ever before, and women were getting all sorts of opinions about things. It was a frightening time, and it felt for many people like the bottom had fallen out of the world. And so, an entire genre of film came around to give voice to our inchoate fears about the new normal. It's been decades since the Noir's popularity peaked, but you can still see strains of its style and feeling running through thrillers today, like Skincare . Loosely based on real events, Skincare  tells the tale of Hope Goldman (subtle), an aesthetician-to-the-stars who is about to launch her own line of skincare products, but is derailed by an unknown enemy who is, for lack of a better word, fucking with her life. Hope descends into...